i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize