i may or may not be watching the land before time
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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