i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
