Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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