He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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