Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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