im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
