I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!