Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
