I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize