Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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