I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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