I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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