All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
