I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize