there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
