Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
