You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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