its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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