Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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