I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
