a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
