I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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