she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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