I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
