oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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