An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
im holly from the hills drunk
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
