i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
