just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
