I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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