lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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