shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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