i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
