Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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