I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
