they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
