Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
