somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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