His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
