There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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