I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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