I want to stick my p in your. b.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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