i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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