My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
