Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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