Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
