Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
