I just pynch a tree in the face
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's shark week go big or go home
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize