i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
