Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I can't turn off my feet"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
