look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
