Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
