Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
