I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
