Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize