Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
