I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
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I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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