just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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