what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize